Andrew Hamm: the Bipolar Express

Ruminations on theatre, music, and just about anything else that crosses my bipolar brain.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Glenn Beck: "Me, PETA, and Global Warming"

I freaking love Glenn Beck. Reprinted with no permission whatsoever.

The Real Story: Me, PETA & Global Warming

Updated March 08, 2007

By now you probably know my stance on global warming. Yes, the Earth's warmed a bit; no, I don't think there's anywhere near enough conclusive evidence to prove Miami will be under 20 feet of water if we all don't start panicking immediately.

I believe that global warming has become more about politics and redistribution of wealth than some altruistic notion of saving the planet and today the Real Story is that the most unlikely of organizations: PETA -- a group that I literally have nothing in common with, has helped make that point even more apparent. Now, I don't know this for a fact, but I'm pretty sure PETA isn't a huge fan of this show. I mean, I'd like to eat a nice, pink-in-the-middle filet, stuffed with ham, topped with chicken, while wearing a full leather body suit......for every single meal. But thanks to global warming, PETA and I have finally found some common ground.

In a letter to Al Gore yesterday, PETA nicely explained to him that the single best way for an individual to fight global warming is to become a vegetarian. In fact, according to the United Nations -- an organization that Al Gore is usually quite fond of citing: "raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases than all the cars and trucks in the world -- combined. That's not from PETA, that's from the U.N.! But it's not just them; university researchers have also determined that switching to a vegan diet has more of an impact on global warming than switching your car from a Camry to a Prius!

Now, Al, I understand that you can't change your carbon footprint easily-- I mean, you have to travel around in a jet to all those panic speeches you give, but what about your meat footprint? If you honestly -- and that's really the key word here, "honestly" -- believe that global warming is THE most important issue the world faces, bigger than terrorism or AIDS or hunger, then why haven't you started eating veggie burgers and drinking soy milk?

PETA's letter to you says it best, " good way to hush Rush Limbaugh and his ilk" -- hey, isn't that me? -- is to, "act as a role model in the fight against global warming (and) personally become a vegetarian." Al, I could not agree more with PETA than I do right now. If you want to insulate yourself from criticism, then don't be a hypocrite; live the life you preach!

But this isn't just about Al Gore, it's about all of the people who champion drastic lifestyle changes without leading by example. And since most of them love to use panic and fear as a motivational tool, I thought we'd give 'em a little taste of their own medicine. Click the link over the right called "An Inconvenient Meal" to see our little response.

Incidentally, you may have noticed that I've added a couple links in the "News, Politics, and Opinion" section. Some good reading for those who oppose the intellecual tyranny of the Global Warming Panic movement.

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  • At 3/12/2007 3:08 PM , Blogger Scott Wichmann said...

    Another reason I'm a proud vegetarian, yet still in a sense a raging hypocrite while standing in right field with a dead cow on my left hand.

    Although, in my defense, I got the glove when I was twelve. (Easy to see why it still fits. I never grew.)

    If they ever make a soy baseball glove, will someone please let me know about it??

    I saved up all of my recycling over one month at the hotel here in Lexington and every time the chambermaids would come by I had to put up a sighn that said RECYCLING to prevent them from tossing it all. I dumped a giant athletic bag filled with recycled bottles, containers, boxes, etc yesterday in the recycle bins behind the theatre and everyone was like "You keep your garbage in a dufflebag??"

    Props to PETA for pointing out that we can make still more changes for the benefit of ourselves and the planet!!

    Hey KIDS!! GO VEGGIE!! you too can become a pale, skinny sprout-eating soy head like me, walking through downtown Lexington Kentucky carrying around a bookbag full of trash!! I mean, come on, who DOESN'T want to grow up and be that someday??

    (Yes, there's another name for that, and some people call it a 'BUM' but what do they know??)


    If methane is the true culprit, we could outlaw farts...

  • At 3/12/2007 6:46 PM , Blogger Andrew Hamm said...

    Best. Post. Ever.

    I think Buckner was wearing a soy glove...

  • At 3/12/2007 9:11 PM , Blogger Joey Fanelli said...

    I was a vegitearian for about a month last year, but it just didn't work out for me.

    At least I tried.

  • At 3/12/2007 9:14 PM , Blogger Joey Fanelli said...

    By the way, Hamm, you must of entered the url for the General Zod page wrong in your links list, because yours leads me to a "server not found" page, while google leads me to the real page which is still up.

  • At 3/12/2007 9:20 PM , Blogger Joey Fanelli said...

    Oh, and one last thing: that video made me realize how funny famous politicians look when they eat.

  • At 3/13/2007 8:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    In my next life I am coming back as Scott Wichmann...only in girl form...well, maybe with a little more meat on me and really great boobs. You are my hero man!

  • At 3/13/2007 8:47 AM , Blogger Andrew Hamm said...

    Really great boobs.

  • At 3/13/2007 7:41 PM , Blogger Joey Fanelli said...

    "Oh, Scottiena, I love your rack!"

  • At 3/15/2007 8:57 AM , Blogger Andrew Hamm said...


  • At 3/15/2007 5:42 PM , Blogger Scott Wichmann said...

    Umm... I'm just, well... speechless.

    Thank you, Joey-- I work out.

  • At 3/18/2007 11:40 AM , Blogger Andrew Hamm said...

    Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!


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